Texting vs. Interpersonal Development

Imagine yourself sitting in a room full of friends. First, ask yourself, why are you there? For me the answer is to have real interpersonal experiences of development. (Interpersonal refers to relating to relationships or communication between people.)

Then imagine one of your friends pulling out their phone. I bet many of you have experienced this. I did, just last night. When this happens, what comes to your mind? Maybe I am unusual, but this is what comes to my mind: Why? What is more important than the people you are surrounded by, in person? I know there are some cases where it is necessary, but there have been far too many times when it was not necessary.

According to CNN, "The number of text messages sent monthly in the U.S. exploded from 14 billion in 2000 to 188 billion in 2010." What does this say about our society? It shows how often we cheat ourselves of interpersonal experiences.

Looking at my own life, I can see how the impact of having face-to-face interaction makes on my interpersonal development. The scenario I presented with you earlier that happened to me last night is interesting to think about. The same friend who pulled out their phone last night is the same friend I spent an hour and half with a few nights ago. That night I really appreciated. We spent that hour and half communicating with one another - getting to know each other better. This was a good experience for me. I felt my interpersonal skills developing as I spent that time with them.


Sherry Turkle, a leading psychologist researcher looking into the effects of texting on interpersonal development stated "that having a conversation with another person teaches [people] to ... to think and reason and self-reflect. 'That particular skill is a bedrock of development.'"

I agree with her 100%. My interpersonal development increases and I grow more confident when I am able to communicate face-to-face with others.

CNN continued by saying, "Part of the appeal of texting in ... situations is that it's less painful — but the pain is the point. 'The complexity and messiness of human communication gets shortchanged,' Turkle says. 'Those things are what lead to better relationships.' ... Habitual texters may not only cheat their existing relationships, they can also limit their ability to form future ones since they don't get to practice the art of interpreting nonverbal visual cues." 

When I am in social situation, I rarely pull out my cell phone to check. I strive to give myself opportunities to have interpersonal development. So my plea to you, is consider those moments you desire to pull out your phone. Is it necessary? Will it diminish your opportunities to develop? Or for others to develop? Ask yourself those questions. Make sure you are not limiting yourself or anyone else from these valuable learning experiences.

Quotes from CNN and Turkle were found at: http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/31/tech/mobile/problem-text-messaging-oms/.